Our society is marked largely by excuses and self justification. We berate the hypocrisy of others, yet indulge in it daily as our only means of survival. No one is innocent of such delusion, it is by far the most common coping mechanism. In fact, for many it is the only way they have learned to carry on! When we tell ourselves, "I must stay strong and fight! I must right the wrongs and never give in. I have to go on!" we take on the weight of sins We committed. Afraid to accept our weakness and lack of knowledge and becoming trapped in the prison of ourselves. This becomes a cycle of guilt and self justification.
The more we learn, the more we are convicted of our own sins! It becomes overbearing as the soul cries out for justice! Justice for the wrongs we and others have committed and the pains that resulted. When Looking to ourselves for hope, we become increasingly blind to the inevitable ends achieved by our own merits (Death). The knowledge itself becomes another relentless slave driver, beating us with a whip before bleeding us dry with false hopes. "Harder, faster better, not enough? Just a little more!", It shouts, making our souls loud cries into nothing more than silent pleas.
To accept this truth, the reality of sin, and our own inherent lack of ability strips from us the delusion of power. Left powerless from letting go of that invisible string of hope, the only illusion of joy we ever had! A string without significance, yet empowered by a worthless faith. It is nothing more than a worthless idol!
The hope never lasting for more than a moment, just to be trampled. Desperately we rebuild that hope in a new image, reinventing ourselves only to see the same results! It is terrifying to give up our faith in what we can do with our own hands, becoming nothing and losing any conceptualization of "good" We so long deeply for God without understanding. We fear if we let go we will just fall, that our doubts and lack of trust of the invisible God will be proven right!
This cycle of deception is founded on the the delusion of self authority and results in the rejecting of the sufficiency of Christ. We struggle to trust that Christ alone is enough, to accept his resurrection and the witness given as proof of God and his power! Instead, we continue to carry the responsibility to fix that which we cannot and need not fix! It is the very definition of insanity that we continue this, all the while we must search for new and inventive ways to escape or cope with the burden we don't have to carry! We are meant to live with joy and freedom through recognizing and embracing our weakness through a love and reconciliation of Christ!
We must be intellectually and spiritually honest with ourselves, as we gain confidence and trust in God to fill in the gaps. To believe such prayer, humility and desire for truth is, in and of itself, all that is required of us! In order to have all things in our life put together for good, we must continue to let go and have faith. Even, or especially, in the tough and embarrassing times! It is this sincere, honesty and confidence that gives us the freedom to find truth and maintain a clear and unburdened conscience. A confidence to try and fall short, knowing that nothing but good will result as long as we look to and trust in God.