Monday, May 30, 2016

Task-list Addiction?

Haallllp I am definitely addicted to my task list. Anytime I try to spend extended time on leisure, it feels painfully wasted, it almost feels like the time I had a panic attack, but different. I mean, for one, it isn't crippling. Second, I can't say I don't enjoy it, I am really enjoying getting the work done that I am, the desire to get stuff done keeps waking me up early. In fact, it is often after only 4 hours of sleep!!!

This experience is new, scary and incredibly fun. So far my only regret is that I had never discovered this sooner. I wish I would have let loose and started working toward all those, impracticable, impossible, or unrealistic things I was always told was not as important as satisfying the requirements of arbitrary teachers. "Focus on the back up!",always seem to be the message and you know what, screw that message it sucks. I have no back up. It is either solve the problems to get where I want to be or die never having reached it.  It feels foreign as if I am just now meeting myself for the first time.

I am going back and forth between a number of videos I am working on, that will be staggered out in release.  For example, I have finished all the pre-writing for a video promoting the C.H.E.W.S. vision, and I have started the writing on my next anime review, which is looking like it should be better than the first. Despite working on a number of long and short term projects, I can already see how I plan to tie them together. The fact i am getting even just a little closer is absolutely wonderful. I have too many ideas I want to share, and too many changes I want to see to slow down and I would not change a thing!  

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