A Serious Look at What it Means to be an Adult

Many of us, myself included, have hurts. Many of us where not given an amazing deck, or situation. The world may have been cruel to us in many ways. I may seem to be set about crushing us, and as children we where powerless, a slave to the situation. As such we changed the only thing we could, our thoughts. We Set up illusions, defenses, or made excuses for ourselves and others,  We devalue our feelings, programmed ourselves to believe our emotions to be independent of the reality in which we existed. Even at times, Guilting ourselves for having them despite our supposed good fortunes, 

So the question is, when do we quite being children? When do we say to ourselves, "The life I was given may not be great, but it is my life and I will shape it into something that is."? When do we quite being powerless slaves, whose lives are dictated by an impossible situation? Adulthood starts when we decide to clear out the garbage and build something new. When life becomes an incomplete project that we take pride in building. People are always telling you and me that xyz is wrong with the world and that x or y is the reason.

 I won't do this. I won't tell you what is wrong with the world. I won't because I have no place trying to make what I want your problem. I will share what I want in life with those who value it and cut out those who do not. The world is a place, your life is a time, and what becomes of it is your responsibility. More than that it is your blessing should you choose to cherish it. 

As creatures made in the image of God, a creator, we have inherited the power that few being have ever had, the power to create. An Adult is someone who owns his or her own life, one who sees the garbage field they where handed as project not a final conclusion. Someone who does everything he can to identify the pain, problems and challenges in order to form a plan of action. I have seen few adults in my life, however I have chosen to be one of them and so far I have never felt, better, more free, or more alive than I do now. Apprehension is met with joy, and pride, this is the life God gave me and the tools he gave me to build with. I can't wait to share what I make of it. 

ChAnime Episode 2 released

Well now that it is finished I feel it was better than my first review with a few exception. Mostly I am happy with my improvements, I worked hard and will continue to work on, and improve my skills, editing and overall quality. More fluid speech and looking at the camera more frequently are my current short term goals. Beyond that not much more to say so enjoy !

It Is All Rigged!!! and Anime Review 2 May Be on Time?

Strange, possibly catchy (maybe not) headline, check! I updated my editing rig it now has 32gb of ram for better editing support, Though boy was that a process. Some oddities with my memory controller made it more work than expected to get the second 16gb functioning but at last I did.

On top of that, the  second episode of ChAnime (our faith based anime review show) has been in editing and is looking to be a noticeable step up in quality from the first. I am doing my best to put particular care with the editing in order to pull it together for a Friday night/ Saturday morning release.

For the first time it looks like I will actually make my own time table, a miracle unto itself. Heck it might even be enough for the atheist in my life to reconsider the existence of God! Well maybe not but still, believe me, it is quite the improvement.

Believe in Me

It was often an overwhelming cry of my heart, an unending desire and perhaps more than that.
It was a belief that I could do anything, but... however... WHATEVER!
Un-ending tormented screams,
"Believe in me, please someone anyone."
"Someone don't let go,
someone, anyone!"

I just need someone to stand by my side.
Someone that will be there when I fail,
someone with the right to celebrate when I succeed
I was crippled by waiting
held back, not by others, but rather by my belief that I could do nothing while I waited.
By a belief that made me a product of circumstance.

I lived in this state till the fire in me said, "Enough! I can, and I will."
It is not easy, nor impossible
It takes time, but never too much!
I will not sit by waiting for someone.
Rather, I will be

no, I am, the one for whom someone is waiting.
I am a warrior, a creator, an innovator!
I am proud, I am me, I am man.

Short Update Video

Work System Fixed!!!!

Fixed my work partition, turns out someone else had my problem related to a specific non standard package I am using, the fix was posted right in the comments :D. Now I can get back to work.

Updated Set New Shows and Dead(ish) Partition

I updated my set, was not able to get depth of field effect on my cam with the limited space, however I did just barely manage to rearrange the space I have. After 8 hours of cleaning and rearranging stuff that wasn't even mine, I was able to get my green screen out. This should, if I can light the screen evenly enough, allow me to put in custom backgrounds and blur them at will. You will be seeing this used for now on in episodes of ChAnime and various other content I am working on. Heck I may even use it in future rants I want to go on, for those who care about my political and philosophical thoughts on things.

Really things are coming along great. I have made serious progress towards my goals, and am securing deals that will allow me to pad out the content with at least 2 additional shows. That said, I have had a minor set back, my partition used for work is temporarily not booting, though I really should have it back in no time and none of the data was damaged. Not much else going on in my life, other than i managed to take some well earned rest to play a few games :D.